ERM...

I will be okay if I am not the one you choose to do life with.

I didn't deep the question that could have been taking up space in your mind, a serious one indeed. One that took me aback when I came to the realisation and understanding of how big of a question it is.

Is this the person I want to do life with? 

as much as I laugh out loud, this is actually not a joke. 

I'm here with the fairies, all giddy and loved up; loving love and how love makes me feel. Wanting you to hint at the idea of us making a commitment, ignorant to the reality of how significant a decision like this is, now we've passed the immaturity of telling each other to read between the lines of the half-truths and half-lies that we once devoted our lives to.

Now my mind floods itself with questions that I should have asked myself before getting to this point:

Are you even the person I TRULY want to do life with?

Am I even the person that I would like to be, before I do life with another whole being?

What characteristics do I posses that I would eminently change?

Am I rooted enough yet?

I was always one who wasn't entirely against, nor entirely for, setting x, y and z goals before pursuing mature commitment. I always said and believed that no one is ever truly as ready as they think, yet no one is ever truly as unready either.

I reflect on failed relationships and build a correlation of my wants and desires and the goals I did and did not set for myself in hindsight. Though without regret, I appreciate the progress I have made internally to become the person that I am today. A person who even wants to fall into a deep forever love, but this time I refuse to allow my emotions to lead me into a premature commitment. 

This time, I will wait. 

This time, I will be okay if I'm not the one you choose to do life with. 

Because this time, I know that this is just another opportunity to grow. 

Always remember, DON'T GET COMFORTABLE

#DGC